I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be going through the five stages of grief in response to a chronic diagnosis (Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance), but I’m not. I’m not even going through them a little. Since I have no outward symptoms – I look and feel fine – I spend most days completely forgetting anything is even wrong with me. How can I feel totally fine but not be? It frightens the hell out of me that my body is attacking itself from the inside and I have no way to monitor it. It is absolutely terrifying.